-could be heard all around the world last night. At around 8 p.m. Did you hear it? Then, the OH.MY.GAWDED! Did you hear that? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. If you were sitting around watching TV and wondered what that sound was that was it.
The reason being? Oh, you know I’m gonna tell you –
It has FINALLY come to fruition that Louise is going to “make-her-way-back-to-Ar-Kansas”. (I’ve heard it so many times the last three years it’s become a mantra, a saying, a theme, a something, we don’t know exactly but it’s there. For some of us it’s been a thorn in the side or a cause of GREAT frustration. (Ellen, me) for others a thing to ponder (Cindy, Charlie) a “When do you think she’s going to leave?” and “If they’re not getting along then she should leave.” AND “Well, she’ll leave when she leaves.”
Me – “I will believe it when I see the U-haul pulling out of the driveway.”
But, we were fooled and are fools believing that it could possibly be true. That she is leaving. Riiiiiight.
Yesterday, I got a message from Ellen on FB asking what Charlie and I were up to this weekend. I replied with the standard “I’m working” and she replied with two interesting paragraphs of saying that Charlie’s ex [Big Mac] was going to be in town on Sunday staying with her and going back to Florida on Monday. She had been up here seeing our friends, Gwyneth and Cathy and interviewed for a job (that she didn’t get) and was stopping in at Ellen’s on the way out of town.
Then – “Louise is packing up and leaving mid-week next week so I imagine I will have to help her pack.”
I about fell out of my chair. When I recovered, I asked if she was driving her back to Ar-Kansas (like she’s done in the past 3 or 4 times – and please let’s not wonder why she’s always come back all these times.) I asked if she was getting a u-haul truck and towing her truck back or just pulling one behind. She replied just a pull behind and, no, she wasn’t driving her back that Louise didn’t ask and she wasn’t offering.
Storm clouds moving in – this was going to get ugly, I could tell. Normally, Ellen has always been supportive despite Louise’s difficult nature. She’s always been patient with her and said despite them not working (I mean, what’s not to work, right?) she needs to move on and Louise needs to “make-her-way-back…..” (not even going to finish that – you get the gist.)
All I want to say is “and, this is a shock to you why? I mean, this has been going on for THREE YEARS!” But, I say nothing. I’ve said nothing since this time when I became the bad guy.
I had to practically bite my fingers off from typing “are you sure she can get all her stuff in one little pull-behind uhaul?” and “she has a lot of stuff – enough to call YOU the hoarder.” and, of course the “It’s about time!” But, I didn’t.
I did say that maybe Big Mac could help Louise pack up (since they were bosom best friends since this time, I thought) Ellen replied with her standard ;-)
SO, fast forward to last night. Charlie had a tough day but came home with some great news and I decided that we needed a night out at our fav mexican place. There was jazz going on that night in the neighborhood and Cindy was coming down to join some friends to listen. Charlie and I were sitting at the bar just having split some nachos and having beers when Cindy dropped in to chat a bit before she went over to jazz. We had promised to head over when we got our last margarita and catch up with her and some others. She had no more left the bar and I’d ordered our margarita when a text came in from Ellen saying,
“It looks like Louise is not going until the 20th or 22nd UGH!” (Like ;-), Ugh is another texting Ellenism -the girl can practically have entire texting conversations using those too things.)
Enter – collective sigh around the whole world and then the OH MY….and then me furiously texting Cindy saying Louise is aborting, abort, abort, NO SURPRISE and Charlie texting Ellen “Why?” and “Are you ok?”
Radio silence from Ellen.
We found Cindy and started telling her about the Louise debacle despite her friends, Lisa last-name-that’s-the-type-of-a-cow (and, the only reason I can remember it) and her new gf Val.
Cindy fell back into ponder mode, “Well, I wonder what happened and I guess she’ll leave sometime.”
Charlie had had it, I could tell she was like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” and pissed. She had gone over to the frustrated side but I had started to leave that side to the hopeless side, the I-will-believe-it-when-the-uhaul-pulls-out side.
“Wonder why she’s not responding”
We were all checking our phones because we all texted her. (She probably then concluded that we were all together and drinking and, then, it wasn’t lost on all of us to wonder WHY she wasn’t there drinking with us. Ellen acts like it’s so unheard of to go out and party with friends without Louise even though she doesn’t want to be with her and wants her out)
“Maybe they’re having it out right now. Maybe Ellen is yelling ‘GET OUT’.” me
That got a laugh out of all of us because none of us could imagine Ellen doing that.
I texted Ellen and said, “You know you have my permission to tell her to leave this week.”
Ellen finally texted back that it was ok, really and that Louise had two.more. doctors appointments left that she had to go to and that they were leveling out her medicine and it was important that she go to these.
“What-the-F*ck-ever! She could have done this sh*t MONTHS ago!” Charlie
“She’s been stalling, we all know that.” Me
“Well, she’ll leave sometime.” Cindy
We both turned to her and said, “Really, Cindy?! Gawd!”
We all ended up at the bar again drinking and discussing the Ellen/Louise/move out situation.
“I just can’t believe it!”
“Oh, I can.” me
“Maybe we should just go over there and do an intervention.”
After all of us looking at our drinks we said, “Nah.” in unison.
It’s not lost on any of us that Louise could have checked out the doctor appointment situation before announcing that she was leaving mid-week instead of coming back later and saying “oops, no not until the 20th or 22nd. now.”
It’s a huge letdown for all of us. I was looking forward to having my friend back. I was even considering throwing a party. I was definitely planning on having her over for dinner many nights. I think Cindy had other plans.
To be continued…….